Elizabeth Chats With…Alexa Bigwarfe
I’ve been talking about the Women in Publishing summit for a couple of years now. And for the past few months, I’ve been introducing some of the members of ‘the Pickle Jar’, the networking group that grew out of last year’s Women in Publishing School. This month, I’m delighted to be introducing you to the brains behind both initiatives.
Alexa Bigwarfe is the mother to 3 wildlings who keep her on her toes (and the fact that she puts that first in her bio says a lot about what’s important to her). But, she is also an advocate, activist, speaker, author & author coach, publisher, and podcaster. Her writing career began after her infant daughter passed away at 2 days old and she turned to writing for healing. She’s one of the busiest and most driven people I know and I’m so grateful she’s managed to find time to be here.
Hello Alexa, and welcome. Let’s start by exploring a bit more about what’s important to you. If you had to escape from a fire, what three things would you take with you?
Pictures of my children and family, especially the picture of my daughter that passed away, my necklace from my grandmother, my phone
Talking about yourself, how would you finish the sentence “not a lot of people know…”?
Not a lot of people know about the really cool things I did when I was in the military. Most people know I served, but not many people actually know about my trips into Afghanistan and Iraq, the awards I won for excellence, including being chosen as the best Company Grade officer of the year for the entire 70th Intelligence Week of the Air Force. Those are actually some of my proudest moments and best memories, yet, because they happened far away and usually in secret, or before people came to know me in this role of a publisher and author coach, so few people know about them. I’d like to fix that by writing some fiction books about a female intel officer in the Air Force.
Where is your favourite place on earth — and why?
Anyplace with water, calmness, and preferably shade. I love the beach, rivers, lakes – anyplace with water, but I do prefer a bit of shade for my fair skin! There’s something about water that completely relaxes me and heals me. It’s refreshing and peaceful and I love to be in and near water as often as possible.
How do you relax?
Depends on if I need alone time or people time. If I need alone time, I’ll get some good snacks and curl up in front of a good movie or TV show. If I want to be with people, my absolute favorite relaxing moments are just hanging around with people that I care about, talking or playing games, watching movies, or going to the pool, lake, river, or beach.
If you knew you only had 24 hours left, how would you spend them?
With my children and my family and closest friends. I’d want to make sure everyone knew how much I loved them, create special last memories, and spend lots of time cuddling.
Also, I’d tell them all my stories, so someone could write the books I still have in my mind!
If you could change one law, what would it be?
I’d ban all guns in the US.
If you were a car, what type would you be — and why?
A Love Bug. (VW Bug) They are cute and fun and make you smile, not too fast, but can be sporty too.
Watch a film, go to the theatre, read a book or talk to friends — which would you prefer?
ALL of the above! You’ve just listed all of my favorite activities… and it totally depends on my mood and what’s happening. I enjoy the theatre, especially musicals, but it’s a special treat for only a few times a year. I LOVE going to the movies. There’s nothing better than a large screen, surround sound, a score that makes you shiver or even cry, and a great story.
But I also very much enjoy just hanging out with my friends, talking and listening to music or watching something together. However, I’m somewhat of an introvert, so sometimes I want nothing more than to curl up with a good book. And it’s how I try to end every day.
If you could take part in one television programme, which one would it be?
Emily in Paris! But, going back a few years, I would love to have been Jennifer Garner’s sidekick in the show Alias. And I would have absolutely loved to have been on The West Wing.
What would you have printed on the front of your T-shirt?
Leaving Book Reviews is Cool
or
Support Indies!
And finally, knowing how busy you are with all your other activities, is the time you have spent writing worth it?
I run a business supporting authors, which leaves very little time for me to work on my own books. For me to find the time to write my own books, a personal sacrifice is required. Either time taken away from my children, my personal life, generally in the “fringe hours,” or I have to take time away from running my business. My writing is slow, and it’s hard to imagine a day when I’ll have enough time to write enough books to make a living only through my writing. So this causes an internal struggle for me. Is it worth continuing to chase this dream, even at a very part-time status, publishing so much slower than many of the other authors I am surrounded by. Should I give up my own writing and just focus on helping others? Or is the time I spend working on my own writing worth it? Even at a snail’s pace…
Despite all the challenges, the answer will always be yes.
First, I’m no different from any other writer who is working a full-time job and trying to achieve their dreams as authors in their spare time. Despite the long timelines and slow progress, I have managed to publish nine of my own nonfiction books. I’ve found so much personal healing and satisfaction from the books I’ve written, and even if they aren’t bestsellers or bringing in enough for me to quit everything else and just be a full-time writer, they play an important role in my personal happiness and satisfaction. And I know if I keep working on my craft, keep steadily creating and writing, one day, my dream of being a full-time writer will come true.
Second, I don’t know if I have a choice. The call to write is so strong, I don’t know if I could stop if I wanted to. So instead, I’m working on accepting the fact I’m working on a longer timeline and that is okay!
It’s easy to get impatient and feel like we’re never going to get there as writers. But I know if I keep at it, I will achieve my objective. And, readers, I hope if writing is a dream of yours and you feel frustrated at your progress, you’ll keep going too.
Great words of encouragement to finish on. Thank you, Alexa, for stopping by today.
Readers, if you’re looking to be Empowered, Encouraged, and Supported as a writer or professional in the publishing industry, check out the Women in Publishing Summit. Sign up for monthly free and paid events here. Follow on Instagram and Facebook. Or listen to the PublishHer Podcast.
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